Have you ever heard the expression, “Money is a mirror of your inner world”? The first time I heard that sentiment, I immediately turned away from it.
“How can that be true?” I had plenty of evidence of life being the culprit and the cause of my unhappiness. The stack of bills I couldn’t face, the panic that set in about three days before my next paycheck.
I continued to resist that I could be the cause of my money troubles. Didn’t I kill myself working hard, doing more than they ever asked so that I would get that promotion or beat the other people at my level? I did everything the world asked me to do, only to end up defeated, discouraged and depressed.
When I shared my sad story with Jennifer, a dear friend who had helped me through other dark times, she just shook her head. “Sweetheart, you’ve got it all wrong. The world hasn’t done you wrong. You’ve done yourself wrong.”
At first, a wave of anger washed over me. I was NOT the reason I was struggling! As I began to trot out all the evidence I had collected to support that belief, she smiled, touched my hand, and looked deeply into my eyes. My anger could not face her calm certainty, and I took a deep breath, calming myself.
“Good, you’re ready to listen.” She held my hand and squeezed it slightly to emphasize her next words. “Life moves through you. It doesn’t happen to you.” She waited for me to acknowledge her message. I shook my head, indicating that I wasn’t ready as tears welled up and spilled down my face.
Her loving and healing hug was the solace I needed to cry out the desperation, the anger, and the fear that had built up inside of me. The dam of my control has broken and the torrent of emotions became a flood that I couldn’t stop.
After some time, Jennifer gave me some Kleenex so I could repair some of the damage. I felt calmer and more peaceful than I had in years, and I finally looked up at her in expectation of learning more.
“My dear, are you ready to try something different?”
I didn’t trust myself to speak, so I smiled sheepishly and nodded.
“When you learn who-you-are with money, you begin to see the destructive patterns that have brought you to this place. Awareness opens the door to different decisions that lead to more choices.” She paused, then shared, “I was a lot like you when I first started. I listened to the world’s voice and I ignored my intuition. It wasn’t until I became aware of my money personalities that I was able to create the life I wanted.”
I felt a bubble of hope move through me. “What are money personalities?”
She laughed and said, “This is what I want you to do. Sign up for this workshop a friend of mine is giving, and you will discover your money personalities.” She laughed again and added, “You will suddenly see where you have created these dramatic situations and realize that you can change them, just by knowing yourself and your powers.”
As we stood up to leave, Jennifer added one more piece of advice. “Remember, nothing outside of you is the enemy. Money isn’t the enemy. Your boss isn’t the enemy.” As I nodded, she continued. “You are the filter through which the energy of Life flows. Change the filter of your thoughts, beliefs, and stories, and the energy of Life will be transformed, showing up in your life in a new way.”
I gave her one last, long, loving hug. “What was the name of that workshop again?”